Archive for the ‘Financial meltdown’ Category

Non Physical Cause of Lower Back Pain

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

One of the first things I learned about back pain is that it has the unique power to paralyze you with pain. I was only 5 years old when I came upon this life lesson, complements of my Uncle Harrison—a scurvy knave who drank too much and couldn’t hold down a job for more than a month.

I liked him, though. He once chased some wild baby chickens just for me. For about two hours he ran like a man possessed, cutting corners trying to head them off, crisscrossing a small barnyard that backed up to his apartment on the outskirts of town.  Finally, out of breath and near collapse, he managed to capture 3 of the little feathered cuties so I could bring them home as my cherished pets.  Already, I had a picked my favorite and was sure it would let me cuddle it in time.

I remember my father got pretty ticked off when he had to spend one of his precious Saturdays building my babies a coop.  We lived in the suburbs of Memphis and chickens couldn’t run loose and unattended.  There were predators afoot:  Everything from copperheads to indigent two-legged creatures from the Nonconnah Creek bottoms.  Humanoids from that part of town were prone to eating whatever game they could find.

Speaking of which, two of my babies met an untimely end, munched down by a fence-climbing, black cocker spaniel from next door.  That old fella got so excited at the sight of lively, bird tenders that it literally scaled the wire fence by inserting its four paws into the chain link openings one at a time, making it’s way up about 4 feet of fence just like any human would do.  It was a scary sight and I’ll never forget his pink spotted under belly.

I was being a dutiful pet owner at the time, cleaning out the chicken coop, but Sparky from next door had been waiting for his chance to show someone how well he could live up to his name. This story doesn’t have a totally dreadful ending. My daddy and I returned one remaining live chickie to its little barnyard habitat from whence it had been plucked by my wildly, devolving Uncle Harrison.

But now I’m off track entirely. This particular Uncle Harrison story I’ve dredged up is the not the one I wanted. It was the one about back pain I was aiming for:  Once, when I was visiting and my uncle and aunt at their apartment on the outskirts of Memphis I had an encounter with back pain.

Uncle Harrison was taking turns flipping my 2 year old sister and me onto a soft couch landing.  That last flip must have been a doozy, ’cause it sent sharp stabbing pains into my lower spine and knocked my breath out. I was momentarily paralyzed while my aunt looked down on me, as if I were faking it just for the attention.  Not a happy moment for either of us. Even my sister burst out crying.

The worst of the pain went away within the next hour, thankfully, with the help of a chocolate milkshake, but along with it, went all future fun with Uncle Harrison.

My father’s sister got a divorce from Uncle H. three months later, and three years later the ‘poor bastard’ wound up dead drunk in the literal sense of the term.  He was found lying in a ditch along side a country road in Mississippi–not exactly the kind of ending John Denver pictured when he wrote the song, ‘Country Road‘.  Or maybe it was, judging from how Mr. Denver met his own untimely end.

And now, back to my original goal before I get further side tracked:  What are some of the causes of lower back pain?  Though the topic sounds rather bland at the moment, just stick with me,’cause there’s a happy ending here somewhere.

Most people don’t have an Uncle Harrison flipping them around at an early age, but many people do experience injury related back pain.  With some, though, the back pain just sneaks up on them over time, till it becomes the thing that won’t leave, as in ‘chronic’.   Still others get symptoms of back pain when the pressing life issues mount up.

Last year, I went to a seminar with Dr. Kam Yuen, a Shaolin Kung Fu Grandmaster, retired chiropractor and aerospace engineer. Back in the Seventies, he was the consultant for the Kung Fu TV Series and often played non-speaking roles in a TV episode that needed a flying, leaping grandmaster of Kung Fu to liven up the action. (Follow the above link to see an old Kung Fu candle lit clip of Dr. Yuen fighting with David Carradine.)

Anyway, it was the first day of the Yuen seminar and time to put into practice what we had learned. Keep in mind, please, that this is a seminar designed to teach you how to use your own energy to resolve any life issues, no physical movement involved. Grandmaster Yuen had spend the morning energetically ‘correcting’ us, teaching and showing us how easy it was to resolve painful issues, and all  in front of the class. It was now our turn to use what we had been taught on each other,  i.e.  resolve some painful issues for a fellow student.   As we paired up, I was praying, please, don’t let me get someone in real pain.

You know how you often get what you fear most, and this was one of those times.  The lady, my partner, had flown three thousand miles to get to the seminar,had not slept the night before and had some nasty lower back pain. It hurt when she stood, sat or walked.  Plus, she made it clear that she had little faith in me being able to resolve anything for her.   She preferred another working partner with more experience and, believe me, I was on the same page.  I was ready to bolt and get an experienced Yuen practitioner to deal with her.

Instead, though, I corrected myself to be strong to her disappointment and misgivings, not to mention my fear.  In other words, I made myself neutral to all the negative emotions.  Next, using my intuition that Grandmaster Yuen had just separated from logic and emotion, I tested to see if her back pain was physical or non-physical.

Non-physical felt weak, so I posed the question silently as to what was the true source of her back pain.  Then I paused, and a picture of the woman all bent over, kind of like Charles Atlas, came to mind with the words, ‘carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders’.  I remembered, though, how Dr. Yuen had said don’t think that just anything pops into your head is an answer for your question. Test it.

So I tested those words that had popped in my head for weakness–all within a split second, of course, and said to her. Let’s make you strong to ‘carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders’.   She visibly straightened up taller and a smile broke through.   “It’s gone,” she said with astonishment.  “The pain is completely gone!”

Believe me, I was just as astonished as she, but I finished up with some corrections for her relationship and job.  The next day, she made a point to find me and reiterate her gratitude. ‘My back pain is still gone, Laura.  I feel great!”

Those words gave me a weak buzz, though, so I tested her for expectations of the pain coming back and found a weakness there. As she was walking away, I made her strong to any expectations of the back pain returning, along with all other unwelcome things coming back in her her past present and/or future.

Now, some might ask how do you make yourself and others strong to any weaknesses, much less to the weaknesses of the past present and/or future?  And those would be good questions.  I could give you a linear answer that would wind up being a book or two, but the quickest way to learn is to attend one of Grandmaster Yuen’s Yuen Mastery Seminars.   By first break, you’ll know how.

End of story.

Unevolved Ignoramuses Rule the World

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

Welcome to my website, you unevolved ignoramuses.  I’m a Guru and you’re not. Today, I’m going to tell you this simple truth:

Real Gurus need no followers.

Got it? Good.  Let’s move on. Right off the bat, my unevolved ignoramus friends, there are at least a dozen things you won’t ever need to do:

  1. Love your pain
  2. Tap on miscellaneous body parts
  3. Pluck invisible shit out of the air
  4. Relive the agony of your birth,
  5. Pant like a dog
  6. Think about nothing
  7. Repeat meaningles syllables
  8. Make yourself a pretzel
  9. Stuff white cloths in any of your orifices
  10. Twirl in a circle to Jerry Garcia’s Music
  11. Give spiders a second chance
  12. Pretend everything is all good

You couldn’t stand it if it were all good.

But If any of the above sounds good to you, get the hell off my website.  I gave you enough links.

It doesn’t matter how you feel about me or yourself. Any puny little emotion you can muster up at this point is powerless to do much of anything.  So go ahead… love or hate yourself to death—it’s all the same right now.

I’ve got a higher self but I’m holding back.  In other words, don’t expect me to channel my higher self for you unevolved ignoramuses until enough of you are on the same page.  We need to reach critical mass first and I’ll be the judge of when that happens.

Also,  just keep your own higher self to yourself, too  I only want to hear from your lower self and maybe a few in between selves.  Got it?  Good.

As far as higher beings go—there aren’t any beings higher than you, so remember that.

Believing in the Incredible Hulk as the good guy is as good as believing in the one god theory–nobody ever invaded anybody else’s homeland with the Incredible Hulk on their banners and I’ll lay odds they never will.

Supreme beings are for the poor schmucks who need to believe somebody besides their mama cares about them.  And as long as we’re on the subject-I don’t care if your mama loved you or not and neither should you.  Go swallow some cloth!

Trusting in any hanging dudes on a cross, supreme manly beings who hurl shitbolts and/or goddesses that will love you to death keeps you stupid the rest of your life and on in to the next few rounds.

That’s probably enough to swallow for now.   We need to get one thing straight right from the start.  Don’t ever expect enlightenment, you unevolved ignoramuses.

Enlightenment is already your right as human beings. Period.

Could You Pass Me Some True Purpose, And Hold the Squawking!

Friday, July 10th, 2009

“The Planet Earth is blue and there’s nothing I can do…“  David Bowie

…Except….find my true purpose, maybe.  Laura

Some of us thoughtful human types are haunted by our search for true purpose. Searching passes the time, gives us the feeling we’re accomplishing something and makes the tough parts of life more endurable.

Finding your true purpose can set you apart from all the other true-purpose seekers out there, especially if you write a best selling true-purpose book and get paid to make speeches all over the world.

Speaking of which, I’ve read snatches of the true purpose books and listened to enough of the true purpose gurus to feel OK about what I’m going to say next: People who claim to know how to find true purpose are all saying the same thing—essentially, they’re just parroting each other.

Sometimes there’s better parroting going on than others, and oftentimes I’ve seen people get really excited by a particularly pretty bird. But when the squawking dies down, there’s not much excitement left to live on. To but it bluntly, passion and motivation grounded in nothingness further weakens people.

I’ve only found one person who actually deals with the concept of true purpose by strengthening people to find their own. Plus his method is actually applicable to your daily life in all its hum-drumness.

And his name is…drum roll…..! Dr. Kam Yuen! Dr. Yuen has practical information for achieving infinite human potential. True purpose is just a minor part of infinite human potential.

To paraphrase the Grandmaster, a ton of programmed gunk needs to be incinerated, or gotten out of the way first, before you can catch a glimpse of your true purpose.

Don’t be discouraged… or do be discouraged, it doesn’t change the fact that true purpose it still under the gunk, beeping away like a homing device in your body mind spirit. You just have to dig a little is all.

Books and motivational speeches might put you in touch with the fact that there is a ‘true purpose’, but talk is useless without a plan of action. That’s where Dr. Yuen shines above all others: He has a plan and it’s a damn good one. Plus he shows you where to start digging, ‘cause true purpose is well worth finding for yourself, your family, your community, your planet and your species: Once you have true purpose, you won’t have to force yourself to stay in your integrity any more.

BAWK!  Polly want some true purpose?

BAWK! Polly want some true purpose?

Ooops. Did I just say ‘force yourself to stay in your integrity’? Yes, I did! Because, as humans driven by our nonconscious, it’s almost impossible for us to stay in our integrity. It just doesn’t come naturally at all.

Come on, now, admit it. Wouldn’t you much rather get even? Getting even comes naturally, especially to frontal lobe challenged young males.  There’s a reason the young men fight the wars! The fact is, folks, humans are born with hard core programming to get even. The combined threat of jail for the body and hell for the soul helps to contain the urge and is enough for most people to choose integrity, but it’s not a natural choice.

We learn to force ourselves to ignore the urge to get even.

I can hear the angry protests, even before I print this article. All you people who are suppressing, denying, repressing, overriding and forgetting your need to get even are angry, especially you people who are relying on ‘loving’. It’s been my experience that the very people who are using loving as a cover-up get the angriest when their loving method is questioned. That’s OK, though. Loving everybody and everything is a common ploy amongst ‘spiritual leaders’ who don’t know what else to do.

I’m still standing by what I said about getting even. I’m only speaking from my own experience. After learning Dr. Yuen’s method, I’ve seen too much success in myself and others to go back to the old ways of dealing with my painful life issues—Once upon a hippie time, I tried loving, forgetting, believing, meditating, affirming, suppressing, denying and the rest of those ‘ing’ words. It was OK for back then, just not enough for my whole life.

Speaking of which, Dr. Yuen is not parroting anybody.  He speaks from the experience of looking at hundreds of thousands of humans and other life forms. He hasn’t found one human life form that isn’t driven by the need to get rid of cause and effect programming. Generally speaking, this urge for resolution is the cause of  physical, spiritual and mental malfunctions.

I’m counting on some of you reading this to find out for yourselves, or at least try to prove me wrong You have absolutely nothing to lose and your real true purpose to gain.

Let’s go back and qualify the idea that we all here to get even—I’m talking about ‘even’ on both ends of the spectrum. In other words, every one of us is driven by subconscious and non conscious urges to get even for the pain we have inflicted on others, as well as to get even for the pain that was inflicted on us.

I don’t know who started this idea or who made this rule to begin with, plus I don’t think it’s cemented in stone for all eternity. I’m just saying that at this stage in the human body, mind, spirit evolvement, we seem to crave the resolution of all our cause and effect actions. The Indians call this karma, and it reminds me of a silly electronic game: We win by blasting all our karma to smithereens before we die or we have to come back and do it again.

There’s a tricky part to the coming back part of the resolution game, though. When it comes to remembering the past actions that have left us treading water in our karma, we fall short—we resort to suppression, repression, forgetting, denial etc as our preferred mode till we die—some of us painfully, some of us quite young and/or unexpectedly. (Remembering David Carradine and Michael Jackson)

It’s kind of pathetic, because most of us run around like amnesia victims with our heads cut off trying to resolve what we don’t even remember while incurring more memories to suppress the next time around.

Whether we consciously remember anything or not, though, we are still driven to win the karma game, and are, therefore, pawns to our subconscious and nonconscious drives or programming. All we mostly manage to do, though, is create more karma or more unevenness—Unevenness that we are driven to even out the next time around. (Remember I said we were all trying to get even.)

It can get worse, too, because a lot of us create additional mounds of gunk karma in the guise of calling it our true purpose. Yes, I’m finally back to true purpose. You see, I’m on the verge of getting a glimpse of my true purpose and it’s a weird state of being, because I’m feeling kind of like I woke up from a stupid dream.

Like I hinted earlier, I didn’t get a glimpse of my true purpose all by my lonesome. I found someone else who knew how to dig for it—Dr. Kam Yuen. He developed a method to dig true purpose out from under all the subconscious and nonconscious garbage that tends to drive us out of our integrity.

His method is pretty simple, all things considered. I didn’t have to do any exercises, abstain from certain foods, use any gadgets, meditate myself into an altered state, love everybody or even believe in anything. To get closer to evenness or karmic resolution, I only needed to delete the uneven programming—programming that weakened me and kept me in a state of forced integrity.

To find this programming, I only needed to distinguish between strong and weak. To feel the difference between strong and weak, I only needed to separate logic from intuition and feeling from emotion, plus get rid of some programming. After one, private coaching session with Dr. Yuen enough programming was gone to move forward. I knew that after just one session that the method worked because results were immediate—lasting too.

Next thing you know, I was hooked on learning how to do the method myself. Now, I’m 6 seminars down the road, Dr. Yuen’s understudy and life just keeps getting more engaging for me and everyone else around me.

You can’t beat these results. At this stage of the life game, passion and motivation are energy drains. It’s the results that I’m after and I get them when I  connect with Dr. Yuen.

Three ways to connect: You can join his membership club www.millionariehealer.com and get a teaching tele-seminar monthly, you can attend a physical seminar www.YMSeminars.com, or you can get a private consultation. It just takes a little action on your part, is all—nothing to lose and your true purpose to gain!

Repeat After Me: “Stabilized Chlorine Dioxide is My Friend!”

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Wanna learn a thing or two about MMS? Another name for it is Stabilized Chlorine Dioxide.

Whatever you want to call it, though, the stuff is awesome!  MMS rips apart pathogens like no body’s business, killing them dead with no nasty side effects.  Pathogens just disintegrate and fall into the black holes of your body, folks.  Plus, less pathogens equals less pain.

If you didn’t know your body had black holes, though, you’d better join the millionariehealerclub.com or attend a Dr. Kam Yuen physical seminar.  (The next one is module 1 in Toronto, July 11-12, followed by module 2 in San Rafael, CA July 17-18 ).

Back to disintegrating pathogens. Malaria is a prime example.  When exposed to stabilized chlorine dioxide, malaria cannot survive.  Black mold is another life form that goes its harmless way after getting a dose of stabilized chlorine dioxide.

Just so we are clear.  Pathogens are harmfully infectious agents:  viruses, fungi, bacteria, molds, yeast, and who knows what other little buggers, as yet undetected by modern microscopic equipment.

Stabilized Chlorine Dioxide is your friend. (Repeat after me…”stabilized chlorine dioxide is my friend.”)

Seriously folks, It cruises through the body like a mini tornado sniffing for electrons to rip apart. By using MMS, you are helping your body rid itself of pathogens that wantonly colonize human tissue, bone and/or blood with no regard for your continued existence.  Don’t just sit there cringing! Paralysis won’t get you anywhere!

Do something right now about unwanted bacteria, fungi, molds, yeasts and viruses.  In other words, do something about the common cold, yeast infections and the Swine Flu:  Swallow a few drops of stabilized chlorine dioxide and feel the benefits throughout your entire body.  Feel it cruise through your cells like a mini tornado sniffing for pathogenic electrons to rip apart.

I’ll tell you another thing Dr. Yuen says:  When you rid your mouth of low level infections, other body cavities improve too.  Dr. Yuen talks about body cavities all the time—how they tend to mimic each other.  Once again, if you don’t know about body cavity mimicry, you’d best join Dr. Yuen’s Club.

Click www.Millionairehealer.com

Spiritual Teachers Are Obsolete!

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

“People use their intuition with things they care
about. Many women are most intuitive with their
relationships and children, whereas men often show
a great degree of ‘gut instinct’ in work and business.”

— Sonia Choquette: Spiritual teacher and author

(’Spiritual teacher‘. Hmmm, are we impressed yet?)

The truth is, folks, I’m not sure spirits can be taught much of anything—they are a fairly unruly bunch, flitting through the ethers with unfettered access to all past present and future experiences.  The way I see it,  spirits could use an equally strong mind and body to balance them out a bit.  What do you think?

If it’s so great being a spirit, why do so many of them hang around and try to tell us what to do? They had their chance/chances.

OK, OK, I’ll give the spirits a break.  After all, they do mean well, I’ve been told.  I’ll even resolve some of their spiritual experiences that are still bogging them down.

Spirits bogged down with their own spiritual experiences!  Oh my!

With all the negative stuff you hear from spiritual teachers about the body and mind, those unsung components of the body mind spirit triad still got a lot going for them.   It’s OK not to believe me, though.  I don’t put spiritual teacher after my name and wouldn’t want that position for all the tea in China.

I don’t even cotton to those who do.  I prefer my life coach—Dr. Kam Yuen.

Just ask Dr. Yuen. He’ll tell you flat out about the spirit, plus he speaks from a place of amazing results.   The spirit, says Dr. Yuen, should not be allowed to beat up on its fellow components—the body or the mind.  In the  body mind spirit triad, each component should be equally strong with strong internal and external boundaries, and each component should be separate from the other—like good roommates.

Thank you, very much.  I do have a body and a mind for awhile longer, and there must be a reason to let everything function at its optimum, instead of making any part suffer—-as some spiritual teachers would have me do.

Dr. Yuen doesn’t put spiritual teacher after his name, either.  What he says, though, makes more sense and gets exponentially better results than anything I’ve ever heard or tried.  But then again, I’ve never been drawn to spiritual teachers as a species.  I figure if a person has something to teach, it will spring out quite naturally at me like something worth learning.

Furthermore, if that’s the best quote Ms. Choquette has to offer, everyone reading this post should put spiritual teacher and author after her or his name.  

Her ‘quote of the day’ came to me in an email from Nightingale Conant—self proclaimed world leader in personal development.

I’ll tell you what….why not send me your quotes of the day…. original or otherwise.

Solar-Powered Cookers: Got Sun?

Sunday, April 5th, 2009

Call me crazy, but I’m thinking about building a solar powered oven. It’s been flurrying some snow flakes off and on for days around Mt. Shasta, but my thinking is this: The summer solstice is only 11 weekends away. South of us, the trees have already budded out, fruited and gone to seed.  (a slight exaggeration.)

Speaking of South, the economy’s sill headed that way a bit, and our friendly neighborhood Power company (Pacific Power out of Oregon) has decided to follow the lead of our friendly neighborhood banks.  What I mean is, they’re raising their rates big time.

That’s no lie, folks. Our little natural food grocery store power bill went up 14%, that’s 400 dollars more a month. Gnarly Bastards!

Solar Power to the People!

Solar Power to the People!

The last time I looked, though, sunrays were free, at least to those who could afford to catch some. Call me paranoid, but the government (our government) might install a sun meter next to that other one some day and tax us for usage.

Just to let y’all know where I stand, the signs in my front yard would read Solar Power to the People!

Back to Solar Ovens. I’m thinking they will definitely be more in vogue soon. A pretty cool one costs a couple bucks. Plus it’s the easiest solar powered thingy to make. All you need is a box, aluminum foil, black paper, a stick and plastic wrap for the science project variety.

If you’re aiming for the high-end model, be prepared to shell out a ten spot. I’m told sun-cooked food is well worth the extra. No matter how large you make it, you still only need cardboard, aluminum foil and glass.

I have a great idea for the lazy amongst us: Have a scavenger hunt. Here ’s your list.

  1. Bottle of Elmer’s™.
  2. 18″ heavy duty aluminum foil.
  3. Piece of double strength glass ½” larger than the length and width of the inner box. You can rub the edges of the glass with a rock.
  4. Little bit of flat black paint.
  5. One yard of elastic 3/8″ wide
  6. Baking tin
  7. Cotton fabric.
  8. String.
  9. Boxcutter
  10. 4 flat pieces of regular cardboard 2′ by 3′ single thickness
  11. 5 cardboard boxes for insulation

Powell’s Tribute: Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan (1987-2007)

Monday, October 20th, 2008

Colin Powell endorses Barack Obama

Hello, my name is Colin Powell, and I’m a recovering cabinet member of the Cheney/Bush Administration.  I’m here today to explain why I support Barack Obama for the next President of the United States.

First, let me say, that my pre-war speech to the United Nations accusing Iraq of harboring weapons of mass destruction was a “blot” on my record.

Secondly, let me say this to those who think I vote based on the color of my skin: If my support was racial, I would have given it to Obama long ago.

I watched Mr. Obama, “particularly in recent weeks,” Powell said, “and he displayed a steadiness, an intellectual curiosity, a depth of knowledge . . . in not just jumping in and changing every day, but showing intellectual vigor.”

“I think he is a transformational figure,” Powell added. “He is a new generation coming … onto the world stage and on the American stage. And for that reason, I’ll be voting for Sen. Barack Obama.”

Here are more of Colin Powell’s concerns expressed in his own words:

1. “McCain is unsure and lacks a grasp of the Economic Crisis.”

2.  “Palin is not ready. All villages have values…I don’t believe she’s ready to be president of the United States, which is the job of the vice president.”

3.  The Republican Party “has moved further to the right and Palin indicates this shift.”

4 “It [the negativity of McCain's campaign] troubled me…what they’re trying to connect [Obama] to is some kind of terrorist feelings, and I think that’s inappropriate.”

5.”This business, for example, of the congressman from Minnesota [Bachmann interview with Chris Mathews, Hardball]: We have got to stop this kind of nonsense and pull ourselves together and remember that our great strength is in our unity and our diversity.”

6. “I would have difficulty with two more conservative appointments to the Supreme Court, but that’s what we’d be looking at in a McCain administration.”

7. “Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country?  Is there something wrong with some seven year old Muslim kid wanting to be President?”

And then, folks, General Powell gave us this example:

NJ Soldier Dies in Iraq by Claire Heininger posted in The Star-Ledger Aug 9, 2007

Age 20  Home town: Manahawkin

Circumstances: He and three other soldiers died of wounds suffered from an improvised explosive device.

A 20-year-old Ocean County man has died in Iraq, officials said today.
Army Spc. Kareem R. Khan of Manahawkin was killed Aug. 6 in Baqubah, according to the Department of Defense. He and three other soldiers died of wounds suffered from an improvised explosive device, the department said today.

KhangravearlingtonA most moving part of the statement Colin Powell gave on Meet The Press endorsing Barack Obama for president centered on one grave in Arlington Cemetary. It is the grave of Kareem Khan, a young man from New Jersey who was so moved by the tragedy and shock of Sept. 11, 2001, when he was just a boy, that he enlisted in the Army as soon as he could.

Khan liked video games, the Dallas Cowboys and Starbust candies.

McCain is Sinking His Own Ship

Friday, October 17th, 2008

OK, I admit it.  I’m worried—worried that in spite of the ‘L’ word (landslide), John McCain and his McManiacs might still win.  Worried that traditional Republican swift-boating will once again undermine everything we’ve lived for these past eight years—this time with offensive mailers and cheap robocalls:

“Hello. I’m calling for John McCain and the RNC because you need to know that Barack Obama has worked closely with domestic terrorist, Bill Ayers, whose organization bombed the U.S. Capitol, the Pentagon, a judge’s home, and killed Americans.”

Can anyone blame me for worrying? Republicans know how to make terrorists out of loyal Americans and baby killers out of decent men, not to mention cowards out of heroes (Remembering John Kerry). And let’s never forget that the Supreme Court can decide elections (Remembering Bush v Gore).  How is this 2008 presidential election going to be different from the last two? Not to paraphrase Rod Stewart, but do we have enough reasons to believe?

Happy to say, I’ve found a few dozen and invite everyone to find more.  I’m sorry. I still need more. There’s strength in more.

Last night my friend Chris, who predicted an Obama landslide way back in July, asked me, “Is this one of those college basketball games that you can’t enjoy till the final second, even though your team is whipping butt?”  “Yea, it is,” I had to admit.

That’s why I’ve spent the whole day crawling the Web in search of why Senator Obama is gonna be our next President, no matter what happens. Face it, folks, he won’t win because it’s FAIR. If there’s any justice in this silly world, it happens over millenniums, and sometimes we’re just lucky enough to be alive during a fair stretch.

We’re just lucky that the ‘08 Democratic candidate is smarter, younger and cuter, ’cause that gets votes.  With Obama we can even throw in more honorable, along with a fearless ability to stay on-message while standing next to an enraged bull.

I mean, shouldn’t everyone want to have a beer with the dude who won’t fly off the handle and cause a ruckus?  Heck, folks, it’s pretty bad when a presidential candidate blasts a neutral debate moderator in the guts: “Not you, Tom”. (Remembering Tom Brokaw.)

I’ll tell you what I really like about Barack Obama—the tone of his voice, especially in comparison to that other one.  When Fox News had to admit that Barack Obama is the better speaker of the two, you know it’s got to be true.  Follow the link to a YouTube video called ‘McCain Leaves Fox Speechless’, for their impromptu assessment.  “Awful! Pathetic! Painful! Hopeless,” the mediabots cried.

Shouldn’t we feel sorry for McCain? We are liberals. My answer is a simple We don’t dare! The fact is, folks, the dude was so spoiled as a child that he would hold his breath to get his way—for which his family found the perfect solution—-they dunked him in ice water. No wonder he was against waterboarding before he was for it. (Remembering McCain and the torture bill.)

Tim Dickinson of Rolling Stone calls McCain a Make-Believe Maverick and sheds some light on early childhood:  “Trailing his hard-charging, hard-drinking father from post to post, McCain didn’t play well with others. Indeed, he concedes, his runty physique inspired a Napoleon complex: ‘My small stature motivated me to . . . fight the first kid who provoked me.’ ”

Which brings me back to another reason Obama should win besides the obvious.  Generally speaking, the taller candidate prevails, and John McCain at 5′6″ can’t look 6′1″ Obama in the eyes without a neck adjustment. Sad to say, we have only to think of John Kerry and that argument flies out the window.  There are some, however, who insist that Ohio’s electoral votes were stolen (Remembering Dennis Kucinich.)

That’s why the count for Obama has to be so far ahead in the first returns that any attempts at thievery will be a mute joke.  This time, the Democratic candidate has to be prepared for anything. This time, he needs to see where the Republicans are headed before they get there.

Maybe that’s what’s already happening. Witness the fact that the Democrats are calling for an investigation into the probability (correction inevitability) that the Bush Administration Justice Department is in league with John McCain’s campaign over the Acorn investigationRobert Bauer, chief counsel for the Obama campaign, is on it.  Doesn’t that prove that Democrats are smarter this time? (Remembering hope.)

The fact is folks, Obama should be smarter.  He was so better educated, plus nothing was ever handed to him.  And can remind everyone that he’s younger, peppier and way more elegant.  Saturday Night Live likened ‘town-hall’ McCain to some kind of decrepit nut-ball.

During Weekend Update, Seth Myers questioned John McCain’s sanity for wanting more town hall debates and yells out to McCain through the TV: “I mean you were lurching at people and walking around like you should have been wearing a hospital gown!”

It seems like there’s so many factors on our side. Could even the gasping Economy be playing into our hands? I’m pretty sure it is.  But at what cost?  Sad to say, there’s not much hope there.

Here’s what gives me the most joy:  The Republicans are divided! Yea, that’s what I said.  D I V I D E D!   When’s the last time we came across divided Republicans?

For a hint at the cause, check out this rather odd McCain Palin Photo circling the Internet. Almost everyone says that that one in the squatting position is the main reason for all the division. David Brooks called that one a “cancer on the Republican Party“.

Ooops, did I say everyone blames Palin?

Not the poor ’starburst’ deprived creature of National Review; not the former, presidential candidate Pat Buchanan—that old dude wants to be in John McCain’s shoes and says the economy is the only reason not to call her the best VP choice ever.

Here’s what the conservatives who truly put their country first say about the Sarah Palin choice:  Shall we start at the very beginning with Peggy Noonan and Mike MurphyCheckout the link for a video of those two trashing the newly ensconced Palin while thinking they were off-camera.

Then there’s the conservative columnists like George Will and Kathleen Parker. Pulitzer Prize winner George Will blasts McCain in his article ‘McCain Loses His Head‘.  Parker begs Sarah Palin to resign:  “Do it for your country, Sarah,” she pleads.

Speaking of resigning, William F. Buckley Jr, had to resign from the very establishment  his own dad founded (National Review) because Junior posted his opinion in the Daily Beast—‘Sorry, Dad, I’m Voting for Obama‘.

Buckley Jr. artfully sums up many of our opinions in a nut-shell: Obama has in him—I think, despite his sometimes airy-fairy “We are the people we have been waiting for” silly rhetoric—the potential to be a good, perhaps even great leader. He is, it seems clear enough, what the historical moment seems to be calling for.

So you see, folks, even the staunchest McCain supporters are jumping ship.  Last Saturday, Governor Crist of Florida, who gave his state to McCain in the primaries, skipped a McCain football rally. When questioned about this diss, Crist implied that a trip to Disney World was more important than helping McCain win the Presidency:  ”When I have time to help, I’ll try to do that,”Crist said.

The list of ship-jumpers is endless.  Follow this link and see for yourself. I am beside myself! Republicans with a conscience are giving me so much strength.

And so does this Late Breaking News!

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court is siding with Ohio’s top elections official in a dispute with the state Republican Party over voter registrations.

The justices on Friday overruled a federal appeals court that had ordered Ohio’s top elections official to do more to help counties verify voter eligibility.

Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner, a Democrat, faced a deadline of Friday to set up a system to provide local officials with names of newly registered voters whose driver’s license numbers or Social Security numbers on voter registration forms don’t match records in other government databases.

Ohio Republicans contended the information for counties would help prevent fraud. Brunner said the GOP is trying to disenfranchise voters.

Here’s what this means, folks. Two hundred thousand Ohio voters are safe! And essentially, this is the same Supreme Court that gave the election to Bush in 2000.  This is obviously what I’ve been waiting for!  A real sign that this time it’s gonna be different.

(Remembering an audible sigh of relief.)

Shrinking the National Debt

Monday, October 13th, 2008
Winter is sneaking up on us, folks.  It really is, ’cause our four-way irrigation thingy froze this weekend while we were out of town.  Water spewed all around the well for three days and two nights. I think there’s some irony here.  What if I told you the seminar’s focus was on energy conservation?

Say this ain’t so, too.  Old news now, but another $140 billion of porky stuff had to be included in that funky bailout plan before lawmakers could bring themselves to approve it.  Hey, what’s another 100 bill when the National Debt is topping 10 trillion as we speak (10.2 trillion).

How many billions are there in ten trillion (10,000,000,000,000)?  Sad to say, I think my brain needs updating.  Just like the National Debt Clock in New York City, both of us done run out of space.

It’s not my fault. Numbers once reserved for the distance between heavenly bodies are now part of our daily lingo.  I think it’s time we went to scientific notation for the National Debt.  Follow the link for a refresher course or better yet, here’s a quickie:

To write a number in scientific notation, put a decimal point behind the first digit, drop all the zeroes, then  count up the dropped amount and put that number up in the air real small behind x ten.

Like this:  10.2 x 10″   Hmmm, the National Debt still looks a bit unwieldy.  Maybe we need Astronomical Units.

An Astronomical Unit, or AU, is the distance from the Earth’s center to the Sun’s center—ninety-two million, nine hundred fifty-five thousand, eight hundred seven miles (92,955,807).  In other words, just one Astronmical Unit equals 92,955,807. If we divide our National Debt by this number, we should get the debt in Astronomical Units.  (Ooops, I bolded everything.)  The National Debt is 107,578 or let us just say 108,000 AU.  By the way, don’t try this with your hand-helds or even your adding machine calculators; I found out the hard way that they don’t go to ten trillion.

Happy to say, at 108,000 AU our National Debt gets us out of the solar system and beyond. From Mercury, it’s less than 1AU to Earth, from Venus a little over 1, and from Mars about 2.5.  Jupiter clocks in around 5 and Saturn a little over 10.  Uranus shoots above 19 with Neptune at 30 and Pluto 31.

No worries.  We’ll just go to light-years. One light-year equals 5.88 million million miles or ten trillion kilometers. And there it is, folks—the exact number we need for our National Debt which is now just a little over one light-year.

I’m already feeling a lot better about a National Debt of one light-year. Our closest star friend, Proxima Centauri, is 4.3 light-years from the Sun.  The Canis Major dwarf Galaxy is the nearest to our solar system and it’s 25,000 light-years away.  Astronomers who hazard a guess say that the whole universe is 79 billion light-years across.  I think I’ll stop there. (joke)

By the way, folks, one of the things I was supposed to learn at the seminar was how to change my perception on everyday things.  And judging from this calculated discourse on the National Debt, I do believe that idea took.

Your Bailout Plan: We Do Not Like It Sam I Am

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

http://www.sanfranciscosentinel.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/henry-paulson-1.jpg

I am Sam, Sam I am.

Would you like it here or there?  Would you like it anywhere?

We would not like it here or there.

We would not like it anywhere.

We do not like it Sam I am.

We do not like your Bailout plan:

Paul Krugman: ” …Commissar Paulson…”  “The bailout plan released yesterday is a lot better than the proposal Henry Paulson first put out — sufficiently so to be worth passing. But it’s not what you’d actually call a good plan, and it won’t end the crisis.”

Megan McArdle: If it’s between Congress and Secretary Paulson, “I’d rather trust Paulson.”

Arnold Kling: “I am wearing two hats in opposition to the bailout idea. One hat is my libertarian hat, which does not like the power grab. The other hat is the applied financial economics hat, which was my career in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s. Speaking from the latter point of view, I have to warn that nobody involved in the bailout proposal has sufficient knowledge of mortgage credit risk. They are like Dick Syron–in over their heads without realizing it. The last thing we need in the mortgage market is another large, inexperienced player.”