mindoverchatter.com

Welcome to my website, you unevolved ignoramuses!

How does it feel to know that I’m a Guru and you’re not? Today, I’m going to tell you this simple truth:

Real Gurus need no followers.

Got it? Good.  Let’s move on. Right off the bat, my unevolved ignoramus friends, there are at least a dozen things you won’t ever need to do if you hang out with me:

1. Love your pain
2. Tap on miscellaneous body parts
3. Pluck invisible shit out of the air
4. Relive the agony of your birth,
5. Pant like a dog
6. Think about nothing
7. Repeat meaningles syllables
   
8. Make yourself a pretzel
9. Stuff white cloths in any of your orifices
10. Twirl in a circle to Jerry Garcia’s Music
11. Give spiders a second chance
12. Pretend everything is all good

You couldn’t stand it if it were all good.

But If any of the above sounds good to you, get the hell off my website.  I gave you enough links.

It doesn’t matter how you feel about me or yourself. Any puny little emotion you can muster up at this point is powerless to do much of anything.  So go ahead… love or hate everyone and yourself to death and while you’re at it, throw in a god or two for good measure—it’s all the same right now.

I’ve got a higher self but I’m holding back.  In other words, don’t expect me to channel my higher self for you unevolved ignoramuses until enough of you are on the same page.  We need to reach critical mass first and I’ll be the judge of when that happens.

Also,  just keep your own higher self to yourself, too  I only want to hear from your lower self and maybe a few in between selves.  Got it?  Good.

As far as higher beings go—there aren’t any beings higher than you, so remember that.

Believing in the Incredible Hulk as the good guy is as good as believing in the one god theory–nobody ever invaded anybody else’s homeland with the Incredible Hulk on their banners and I’ll lay odds they never will.

Supreme beings are for the poor schmucks who need to believe somebody besides their mama cares about them.  And as long as we’re on the subject-I don’t care if your mama loved you or not and neither should you.  Go swallow some cloth!

Trusting in any hanging dudes on a cross, supreme manly beings who hurl shitbolts and/or goddesses that will love you to death keeps you stupid the rest of your life and on in to the next few rounds.

That’s probably enough to swallow for now.   We need to get one thing straight right from the start.  Don’t ever expect enlightenment, you unevolved ignoramuses.

Enlightenment is already your right as human beings.

Got it? Good!

Welcome to my website, you unevolved ignoramuses.  I’m a Guru and you’re not. Today, I’m going to tell you this simple truth:

Real Gurus need no followers.

Got it? Good.  Let’s move on. Right off the bat, my unevolved ignoramus friends, there are at least a dozen things you won’t ever need to do:

1. Love your pain
2. Tap on miscellaneous body parts
3. Pluck invisible shit out of the air
4. Relive the agony of your birth,
5. Pant like a dog
6. Think about nothing
7. Repeat meaningles syllables
   
8. Make yourself a pretzel
9. Stuff white cloths in any of your orifices
10. Twirl in a circle to Jerry Garcia’s Music
11. Give spiders a second chance
12. Pretend everything is all good

You couldn’t stand it if it were all good.

But If any of the above sounds good to you, get the hell off my website.  I gave you enough links.

It doesn’t matter how you feel about me or yourself. Any puny little emotion you can muster up at this point is powerless to do much of anything.  So go ahead… love or hate yourself to death—it’s all the same right now.

I’ve got a higher self but I’m holding back.  In other words, don’t expect me to channel my higher self for you unevolved ignoramuses until enough of you are on the same page.  We need to reach critical mass first and I’ll be the judge of when that happens.

Also,  just keep your own higher self to yourself, too  I only want to hear from your lower self and maybe a few in between selves.  Got it?  Good.

As far as higher beings go—there aren’t any beings higher than you, so remember that.

Believing in the Incredible Hulk as the good guy is as good as believing in the one god theory–nobody ever invaded anybody else’s homeland with the Incredible Hulk on their banners and I’ll lay odds they never will.

Supreme beings are for the poor schmucks who need to believe somebody besides their mama cares about them.  And as long as we’re on the subject-I don’t care if your mama loved you or not and neither should you.  Go swallow some cloth!

Trusting in any hanging dudes on a cross, supreme manly beings who hurl shitbolts and/or goddesses that will love you to death keeps you stupid the rest of your life and on in to the next few rounds.

That’s probably enough to swallow for now.   We need to get one thing straight right from the start.  Don’t ever expect enlightenment, you unevolved ignoramuses.

Enlightenment is already your right as human beings. Period.

You want to know how to get yourself into big big trouble–take up meditation.  You’ve probably heard it’s going to ease your mind, relax your body and calm your spirit, but how many meditators do you know that can boast even one of those three achievements?

Take it from me.  I live in a hot bed of meditating fools—from Buddhist monks to New Age bliss bunnies, and I’ve encountered more than my fair share.  They all stack up as either energyless, psychotic or angry—-sometimes all of the above.

That’s because most of the time, the opposite happens when people meditate.  Getting in touch with your spirit is worse than taking your life in your own hands.  You can’t even begin to know your spirit’s agenda.  The best thing to do is delete some of those karmic experiences and keep the spirit happy that way.

The spirit is such an unruly, aggressive bastard!  It has access to all your past and future spiritual experiences–and this includes the experiences of every personality of every ancestor and every descendant.  The spirit mainly wants resolution for every one of those personalities and it will stop at nothing.   Are you scared, yet?

No need to be.  Click this link to learn more.  I’m tired of talking/ranting right now.